A profoundly unremarkable insight into my life

I vaulted out of the shower, ripped the towel off of my hair, and swore as I realized that my hair was damp, regardless of my various attempts to maintain it’s dryness. As I lunged for my hair dryer, I knocked several bottles on my vanity out of place, which would usually of made me crazy and compulsive about straightening them up, but not this evening. This evening, I was going from gross to gorgeous in under 15 mins, and time was sitting back and laughing at me. See, I was going out with Geoff to meet a dear friend of mine for a drink, which usually calls for jeans and a random top, which can be dressed up or down with varying accessories. But last night when I saw him, I was looking rather euro-trashy in my beautiful ensemble of track pants and a tee shirt. Ah, laundry day. So I definitely felt the pressure of compensating for said slob look with a posh one. I’m not a multi-tasker until the situation demands it, but I managed to re-straighten my hair, put on half my face, find an outfit, and talk to Geoff on the phone whilst balancing precariously on my vanity attempting to apply mascara and focus on not sounding like I was doing anything whatsoever. It was awesome. Eventually I was ready to rock, but I was stuck on the shoes. Do I wear my hooker boots, or my sleek heels? I dunno, I dunno…only one option left. Assault my roommate. I half-heartedly knocked on his door as I barged in, balancing on my two differing options of footwear.

“Jordan!”

“What’s up, Kdot?”

“Okay, which one? The boots?” I thrust my right foot out for him to examine “Or the heels?” I did an ungraceful pirouette and thrust out my left leg. He looked at me as though contemplating the emotional ramifications of living with a crazy woman, and then slid his glance down to my footwear. I hopped and twisted as he seemed to ponder which actually looked better. He continued to look befuddled about woman’s footwear.

“C’mon, man. Geoff is going to be here in like, two minuets!”

He then looked up at me, with an expression of absolute decision.

“Know what I think you should do?

“No, what?”

“Well, you have to reverse it.”

“Come again?”

“You should totally put the boot on the left foot, and the heel on the right. It would be an amazing conversation piece.”

“JORDAN!” I fought the laughter that was welling up, and attempted to look serious. But my facial muscles were not behaving themselves. I contented myself with looking exasperated.

“Okay, okay.” He looked at my legs one last time, sighed, and said “Totally the heels.”

“The heels?”


“Yes. The heels”. It was his turn to look both amused and exasperated.

“Okay then!” I wobbled back to my room, flung off the offending boot, and put on the mate to my heels. I strode into our hallway to check out the finished product. Dammit, he was totally right, the heels do look better. Or do they? I waltzed back into his room without knocking.

“Jordan!”

“WHAT?”

“Are you sure?”

“YES!”

“Okay. Whatcha do’in?” I grinned as I knew I was being annoying.

“Watching Firefly.” There was little amusement in his exasperation now.

“Gotcha. Enjoy it, see ya later!”

“Bye Kdot” I heard as I ran back into my room to hunt for my keys. I laughed as I ran downstairs in my sleek and stylish heels to meet my sweetie, thinking about how remarkably different it is to be living with a guy.