This gene pool could use a little chlorine

So I’m walking into Wal-Mart and its pouring. I get close to the doors, and this dude passes by me. This would be a spectacularly uneventful moment had he not turned around and passed this little gem on to me:
“Hey honey. You know you shouldn’t be walking around in the rain, right? Sugar melts, sweetheart.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, attempting to register this comment. Unfortunately, I do speak a little Moron, thusly leaving me no choice but to respond. But how to? If I don’t make a snappy comment in 3 seconds or less, this Darwin-candidate is either going to have the upper hand, or think I’m accepting this oh-so brilliant pick-up line. Both equally unappealing prospects. Think Keltie, think! But my knowledge of how to speak Moron is limited. My "drop dead" look will only be lost on something this totally vapid. My "fuck you" look will only serve as a coquettishly flirtatious response with this winner, I’m sure. Quick flashback to high school. Okay, got it. I opened my mouth and…laughed directly in his face. Ah yes! The sanctifying power of derisive laughter. He shuffles away with the sound of my taunting laughter echoing in his mind. I win!

Serves you right, Cro-Magnon. I mean, “sugar melts, sweetheart”??? Honestly!! What did he THINK was going to happen?

-K

Quote du Jour (literally)

“Hey honey. You know you shouldn’t be walking around in the rain, right? Sugar melts, sweetheart”.
- Vapid, moronic, Wal-Mart festisio.